About Our Guests
Michael Grinder, internationally recognised pioneer of nonverbal communication and founder of Michael Grinder and Associates, has trained thousands of executives and educators worldwide. With over 40 years of experience, he helps people assess others more accurately and connect more deeply through his expertise in translating nonverbal communication into practical leadership strategies.
Krista Grinder-Dettloff, CEO of Michael Grinder and Associates, brings over 30 years of educational expertise spanning from preschool through college level as a specialist and classroom teacher. Known for her insight, warmth, and practical application, she transforms complex concepts into accessible strategies that help others discover their unique potential.
When Understanding Replaces Fear, Potential is Unlocked
In this powerful conversation, Michael Grinder and Krista Grinder-Dettloff share how understanding learning differences transformed their lives and created an unexpected legacy. When Krista began experiencing the same learning challenges that had marked her father’s early education, it sparked a journey that would impact thousands.
As a teacher who had taught himself to read after graduating high school, Michael understood his daughter’s struggles uniquely. Together, they discovered it wasn’t about lacking ability, it was about understanding how different minds process information. Through separate but connected paths, Michael became an internationally recognised pioneer in nonverbal communication, while Krista found her calling as a reading specialist before joining her father’s work.
Their story reveals profound truths about self-acceptance, the power of being truly seen, and how our greatest challenges often become our most meaningful gifts to others. Through their candid sharing about fear, learning differences, and self-love, father and daughter demonstrate how understanding ourselves differently can transform what we perceive as limitations into bridges that help others find their way.
Michael’s Tips
Always Have Three Interpretations, “Why 1, Why 2, Why 3”
One = fixed mindset.
Two = conflict.
Three = prediction: “If this is true, what would I see next?”
Emotional Intelligence = Reading Non-Verbals
Trust, safety, and congruence come from observing others.
The more non-judgmental you are in reading non-verbals, the stronger your emotional intelligence.
Separate Reality from Interpretation
Reality (below the line): observable facts.
Interpretation (above the line): beliefs, opinions, feelings.
Keep them separate to avoid confusion.
Krista’s Tips
Use “Why 1, Why 2, Why 3”
When thrown off, generate three possible interpretations.
Broadens perspective and keeps you from being stuck.
Honor Your Emotions Safely
It’s okay to be emotional—just communicate it clearly.
Example: “I need to vent—it’s not about you. Is it okay if I share?”
Prevents misdirected conflict and builds trust.
Be the “Fly on the Wall”
Reflect after (and eventually during) situations:
What did I see/hear?
How was my body language?
What patterns emerged?
Reflection creates choice: repeat the story or rewrite it.
Key Takeaway
Growth mindset = multiple interpretations.
Emotional intelligence = reading congruence through non-verbals.
Reflection = freedom to shape your story.
Michael and Krista’s Contact Details
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelgrinder_associates/?hl=en
X/Twitter: https://x.com/michael_grinder
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelGrinderAssociates/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelgrinder/
Website: MichaelGrinder.com
YouTube: youtube.com/michaelgrinder
Pinterest: https://in.pinterest.com/michaelgrinder/
Scroll up to listen to this episode on Substack.
You can also listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music and Audible.
Time Stamps
00:00 Intro Michael Grinder & Krista Grinder-Dettloff
09:04 Understanding Learning Styles and Their Impact
17:55 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
25:56 Building Self-Love and Overcoming Fear
31:53 The Power of Poetry and Self-Reflection
34:48 Understanding Nonverbal Communication
40:22 The Role of Nonverbal Cues in Relationships
45:27 Impact of COVID-19 on Communication
47:35 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
52:33 Lessons from Childhood and Personal Growth
01:02:17 It’s A Wrap
If anything in this episode resonated with you and if you feel like you could use a little extra support, please consider reaching out to trusted local support services in your area. You don’t have to go through it alone.
We’d Love to Hear Your Thoughts
Follow What’s Fear Got to Do With It on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube.
Email us: info@whatsfear.com
