About Our Guest
Kerry Milligan appeared for 10 years on the award-winning TV show Gogglebox alongside her mother Emmie and daughter Isabelle. Together, the three generations wrote a bestselling memoir, “Out of the Box,” exploring important issues in women’s lives through three distinct generational perspectives. When Emmie was diagnosed with dementia after seven years of living with Kerry, the family navigated the difficult transition to aged care. Emmie passed away in July 2025 at age 96.
Kerry Milligan on her biggest fear, her deepest guilt, and the courage to let go.
In this episode, Kerry Milligan opens up about one of life’s most difficult decisions: placing her aging mother, Emmie in residential care. After seven and a half years of caring for her at home, Kerry faced an impossible choice when dementia made it unsafe for her to continue, a decision that triggered massive guilt and forced her to confront lifelong patterns of self-sacrifice.
Kerry reveals how her upbringing as a “good girl” taught her to put everyone else’s needs first. She explores the tension between her rational brain, which knew care was necessary, and her emotional brain, which screamed betrayal. Through support from Violet, a carer advocacy organisation, Kerry discovered that asking for help wasn’t weakness, it was the only way she could truly care for her mother without completely sacrificing herself.
This journey of caring for Emmie became a catalyst for Kerry to reclaim her own power, a transformation that began long before, through life’s pivotal moments including her divorce. This isn’t just a story about navigating aged care or dementia. It’s about learning that you cannot pour from an empty cup, that guilt and love can coexist, and sometimes the bravest thing you can do is admit you need help. Kerry’s journey offers honest wisdom for anyone navigating caregiving, family dynamics, or the weight of trying to do it all alone.
Kerry’s Tips
Knowledge is power, don’t be afraid of asking questions.
Sing & dance as much as possible, it’s a full mind body experience.
Get support from Violet. Be kind to yourself.
“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love & be loved in return.” Harry Belafonte, Nature Boy.
Kerry’s Contact Details
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kerrygoggleboxelder/
Silbery Family from Gogglebox
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheSilberys
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesilberys
Kerry’s References
Violet Initiative: https://www.violet.org.au/
Carer Gateway: https://www.carerswa.asn.au/
Out of the Box: Raw and hilarious tales of heartache, triumph and truth: https://www.amazon.com.au/Out-Box-Isabelle-Silbery-ebook/dp/B09DZ5JW3M
Scroll up to listen to this episode on Substack.
You can also listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music and Audible.
Time Stamps
00:00 A Life-Changing Moment
02:49 Navigating Care Decisions
05:35 The Emotional Burden of Guilt
07:55 Finding Support and Resources
10:29 The Struggle with Guilt and Self-Advocacy
12:45 Understanding Aged Care Choices
15:14 The Journey of Letting Go
17:43 Balancing Care and Self-Care
19:53 The Long Goodbye and Grief Process
22:16 Navigating Aged Care Decisions
25:50 Life After Loss: Finding Joy and Community
27:39 Coping with Grief and Seeking Support
30:25 The Burden of Caregiving: Women’s Experiences
34:01 Empowerment Through Education and Independence
37:21 Reclaiming Power and Identity
41:25 Lessons Learned: Advice for Future Generations
42:59 It’s A Wrap
If anything in this episode resonated with you and if you feel like you could use a little extra support, please consider reaching out to trusted local support services in your area. You don’t have to go through it alone.
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